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  • Writer's pictureDan Haylett

What My 15-Year-Old Can Teach You About Retirement: Lessons in Lounging, TikTok, & Snack Management

**Warning** You’re about to enter a world where time doesn’t exist, pyjamas are the new business casual, and your influence and guidance might just be a teenager who’s mastered the art of living in the moment (and avoiding chores).

As a seasoned adult, gearing up for your Victory Lap Retirement, you might think you’ve got it all figured out. Savings? Check. Investment portfolio? Check. Dream of lounging on a beach in Maui? Double check. But, lo and behold, it turns out my 15-year-old daughter, Gracie, has some unexpectedly genius insights on retirement. No, really.

1. Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing… Gracefully

You thought retirement was for pursuing all those hobbies you never had time for, right? Gracie says, “Why?” Her ability to do absolutely nothing all day and still feel accomplished is nothing short of a superpower. Retirement lesson? Sometimes, it’s okay to just be. Your hammock is waiting, and those clouds won’t watch themselves.

2. Tech-Savviness: The TikTok Path to Enlightenment

Forget about struggling to set up your Smart TV or figuring out how to video call your grandkids. Gracie can navigate through an iPhone like it's an extension of her own limbs. She argues that TikTok isn’t just for dance challenges; it’s a hub of life hacks, easy retirement-friendly workout routines, and yes, even life advice from cool, less-stuffy types. Take notes, folks.

3. The Economy of Snacks

Budgeting for retirement can be daunting. But have you ever seen a teenager manage a stash of snacks? Gracie can make a single bag of cheese Doritos last an entire season of a Netflix series. Her snack rationing skills are remarkable — a hidden lesson in managing resources. Think of your retirement savings as a giant pack of Oreos. Don’t consume them all in one go!

4. Sleep Schedules Are Merely Suggestions

Early bird gets the worm? Gracie argues that this adage is outdated. As someone who views sunrise as a challenge rather than a daily occurrence, she believes retirement is your best chance to really listen to your body’s clock. Want to stay up till 2 AM binge-watching old sitcoms? Why not? Sleep till noon after? Go for it. You’ve earned this freedom from the tyranny of alarm clocks!

5. Fashion Forward… Or Just Comfort Forward

Gone are the days of suits and pencil skirts. Gracie lives in what can only be described as a fascinating array of pyjamas, hoodies, and mystical objects called “joggers.” Comfort is king in her wardrobe. In retirement, let your wardrobe reflect your new-found relaxed lifestyle. Think of it as a transition from business casual to “Relax n’ Chill” chic.

6. Friendships: Quality Over Quantity

Watching Gracie maintain her friendships is like watching a diplomat at work. Small, close-knit, yet fiercely loyal. In retirement, it's less about networking and more about nurturing a few meaningful friendships. Book clubs, garden exchanges, or just regular old gossip sessions — quality always trumps quantity.

7. Learning Never Ends

Despite her apparent allergy to anything that resembles schoolwork, Gracie is always learning something new — be it a makeup tutorial, a new dance move, or how to argue her way out of cleaning her room. The lesson? Retirement is a fantastic time to learn new, fun skills. Ever wanted to learn magic tricks or start a blog? Now’s the time!

In a nutshell...

Gracie might just be a retirement guru in disguise. Sure, her insights might be sprinkled with youthful naivety and a severe underestimation of adult responsibilities, but there’s a whimsical wisdom in her approach. After all, retirement is not just about surviving; it’s about thriving, rewinding, and maybe, just maybe, learning a TikTok dance or two.

So, as you ponder your retirement strategy, remember to sprinkle a little bit of that teenage indifference, spunk, and, dare I say, laziness into your Victory Lap. After all, isn't retirement the adolescence of old age? Gracie would probably say, "Sure, whatever," and honestly, that’s the spirit we’re aiming for.

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