Few and Deep: The Retirement Lens That Changes Everything

Retirement is often pitched as the ultimate all-you-can-eat buffet. Travel here, try that, learn this, join them. Do more, see more, be more.

But let’s be honest, many retirees discover that piling their plates high with “more” doesn’t leave them fulfilled. It leaves them restless, distracted, and sometimes exhausted.

The true richness of life after work comes not from chasing breadth, but from cultivating depth.

Living through the lens of few and deep is more than a catchy phrase. It’s a mindset shift backed by psychology, research, and the lived experiences of those who flourish in retirement.

Why “Many and Shallow” Fails Us in Retirement

The “do more” myth works fine during our careers. Work rewards busyness. Promotion often comes to those who can juggle more plates than anyone else.

But retirement breaks that logic. Suddenly:

• Time expands — and paradoxically, too much choice can paralyse us. Psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper famously found that more options often lead to less satisfaction, not more.¹

• Energy contracts — physical stamina and cognitive bandwidth aren’t infinite, so scattering ourselves thin becomes unsustainable.

• Meaning matters more — Viktor Frankl wrote that humans can endure almost any “how” if they have a “why.” Retirement strips away the ready-made “why” of work, so chasing shallow activities rarely fills the void.

The result? Retirees often fill their schedules with activity, only to find themselves asking: Is this it?

The Power of Few and Deep

Let’s look at how this lens transforms each domain of retirement:

1. Relationships

The Harvard Study of Adult Development — the longest study on happiness — found that strong, deep relationships are the single biggest predictor of well-being in later life.²It’s not about how many friends you have on Facebook. It’s about whether you have two or three people you can truly lean on.

2. Time

The “hedonic treadmill” suggests that novelty wears off quickly. Booking back-to-back trips or juggling ten hobbies creates diminishing returns. Focusing on one or two activities, and practising savouring (a well-researched psychological skill³), deepens joy.

3. Money

Research from the Institute for Fiscal Studies shows that many retirees underspend, often leaving large unspent pots.⁴ But when they do spend, money delivers the greatest happiness when used for experiences, not possessions, especially those shared with others.⁵Spending fewer times, more meaningfully, beats shallow, frequent splurges.

4. Purpose

Gallup research highlights that people with a strong sense of purpose live longer, healthier lives.⁶ Retirement isn’t about dabbling in twenty causes — it’s about aligning deeply with one or two and sticking with them long enough to see impact.

5. Identity

Shedding shallow labels — “I’m a golfer, a volunteer, a traveller” — and anchoring into a core identity creates resilience. Identity clarity is linked to higher life satisfaction and lower anxiety.⁷

A Different Kind of Rich

When you live “many and shallow,” you end up like someone speed-dating their own retirement — a flurry of short, surface-level encounters that never quite land.

When you live “few and deep,” you stop skimming the surface and start diving into the depths. And that’s where meaning, connection, and contentment live.

This isn’t about shrinking your life. It’s about focusing it.

A Challenge for You

• Which friendships deserve to be watered, rather than scattered?

• Which hobbies will you choose to pursue fully, instead of dabbling in ten?

• Where will you spend money not often, but meaningfully?

• Which purpose will you commit to deeply enough to feel proud of?

Because in the end, retirement isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing the right things, deeply.

References

1. Iyengar, S., & Lepper, M. (2000). When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

2. Waldinger, R. et al. The Harvard Study of Adult Development.

3. Bryant, F. (2003). Savouring Beliefs Inventory: A scale for measuring beliefs about savouring. Journal of Mental Health.

4. Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS), Retirement Spending and Underspending in the UK (2018).

5. Dunn, E., Gilbert, D., & Wilson, T. (2011). If money doesn’t make you happy, then you probably aren’t spending it right. Journal of Consumer Psychology.

6. Gallup (2017). Purpose and Wellbeing.

7. Schwartz, S. J. (2007). Identity theory and research.